abt wat my b-day means...

today...happy...

yesterday accidentally found a conversation log of me and her lying around in my computer. accidentally, meaning, i was looking for another file when that log was in the search results. what was i searching for? the schematic diagram for LiNG. hmmmm...concidental? or man-made? concidental, because i really had no idea where i left the schematic file for LiNG and i didnt know there was even a conversation between me and her.

then reading through the conversation. i must admit i had this sudden feeling of old wound being opened up again. i can still savour the happiness and the joy in the words, while havin all this cravin for more of such conversation. cravin? yes cravin, recent conversations with her are like very restrictive, in a sense, and stifled. maybe its my fault? hmmm...

made another conversation with her today. a more relaxed one, similar to the ones we used to had. one thing is for sure, i cannot understand the relationship between us. so i am suppose to treat her like a friend, while trying to express my like for her? is there like a term designated for girls in the transition stage from friend to girlfriend? the in-between? this i guess was what that was stifling my conversation with her. the NOT up NOT down situation. weirdness.

another thing is that, i am totally or at least partially freaked out in this situation. i have precisely no idea what to do, or at least what not to do, or is there even such a thing? zero information plus first time being in such a situation. initially, i thought it was going to be jus a passing phase. BUT NO~...i am kinda stuck in this libo longer than expected. appealing to all everyone...HELP!

its always good to blame someone when unexpected or bad things happen. i jus wonder who can i blame now? myself? somehow...to blame her is not an option. nvmind.

this whole blog thing is kinda working out for me. well its better than usually dumping information into memory storage. at least when i write i analysis the memories and incoming information. otherwise, it will jus sit in the memory storage area and await deletion.

oh...before i forget. the next important thing to update now is LiNG. by week 5, all the mechanical design and schematic diagrams are to be FINISHED. this sunday, today, marks the beginning of week 2. the schematics are almost done. meaning the large portions are done, left the finer details, slight adjustments and hopefully no corrections. weichien is working on the mechanical design part.

seriously, i dun think i will get any better partner than weichien. he is like the ultimate when it comes to the whole mechanical section. firstly, there was the software, rhino3D. oh...jus to sidetrack, rhino3d is a better program than autocad. more flexibility with a 4 perspective drawing(top, plan, side and 3d). the whole bunch of us were the experimental batch of rhino3d users. weichien picked it up so fast, i was basically smelling dust. that day, he jus did 3 sumo robot design jus as he was doin more exploration of the software. to add, it was not those slip-shod designs. it was designs that i think can show to THE PANEL anytime. wow, truely amazed. LiNG is definitely in good designer hands. THE PANEL is a group of lecturers who will be tasked to assign grades to our continual progress in our projects.

secondly, chien is if not more, than equally passionate about this project. still remembering, he used to sit through watching clips after clips of sumo robot bouts. in a small scale competition like SRG(singapore robotics competition), there were already 64 matches and in each match 3 bouts. he finished watching a few years of SRG sumo matches and ROBOlypmics(later renamed RoboGames) sumo matches. and you thought you would prefer watching Titanic the movie 7 times. i watched some of the matches, but one match does not even seem to differ from the other. to add more spice into his madness, he watched the Japanese sumo robot matches(Warning: large scale competition sensed). if i pictured him as sex crazy male, and the sumo matches as thai whores. i think he would have swept the whole thailand CLEAN...few times over. now u ask, whats the point to the video watching? hehe...to derive the ultimate mechanical design for LiNG(restricted to a 20cm x 20cm x unlimted;length x breadth x height). he even figured the weakness of the general sumo robots(confidentally classified information), i am not goin to spoil his effort by blabbing it here.

looking at his efforts, can i even let him down by not doin my part to the BEST? JIA YOU!! even if its SRG, LiNG is still goin to make its presence felt and take the whole crowd by storm!!

my personality type

today...the 3rd day of the new sem of the 3rd year. thursday, my project day.

today we FINALLY formed into our groups. there were a total of 14 person and hence 7 groups of 2 were formed. ah lim said 2 groups had to do the legged robot project, 2 groups had to do the sumo robots for the Singapore Robotics Games and 3 groups to do the sumo robots for the RoboGames 2006. so the 7 groups had to rank which projects they had wanted to do. on top of that everyone had to submit their marks for MPI(Microcontroller Programming and Interface) and PFEA(Programming for Engineering Application).

the RoboGames 2006 will be held in US, thus it greatly stirred intrest in everyone, including me. i still remember clearly during that month of holiday when i came back for extra lessons, i was so engrossed into creating a robot for RoboGames. somehow, Singapore Robotics Games just didnt stirred that much energy in me. Not to even mention the legged robot, although i did give a certain thought to its designs.

from the beginning, LiNG had always been the champion of RoboGames whenever i dream. i dream of her winning moves, dream of seeing the dejected and disappointed faces of her opponents, dream of the sweet smell of victory, dream of the happiness and dream of even the weather there. BUT, i let her down, and entered her into the Singapore Robotics Games.

i ranked Singapore Robotics Games as my first, followed by RoboGames and legged robots. surprise surprise...not...i got my first choice. i didnt feel any sense of excitement nor ethuasism, rather i felt down and sad. although this does not mean that i will not be going to US.

ah lim is still going to choose 4 person out of the sumo cohorent, 10 persons, to go US. thinking and thinking, while on my bus ride back. i still had chance to go US for the RoboGames, the problem was LiNG. no matter how much i fare, she will still be entered into the Singapore Robotics Games. she will not be able to release her prowess at RoboGames, or rather, i will not be able to pit LiNG's intelligence against other international best(Japan). is there even a point for me to go US now? to bask in the glory of my course mate's robot when they eventually win?

i feel empty...and i hope i will have the courage and motivation to persist on.

jus came back from badminton...wow....!!! if i am not wrong, when you exercise your body release some chemicals which make the mind feel happy. yup...its releasing.

to add to that, my brain is kinda working in the reverse mode too. i was actually jus wondering, everyone has been wondering wat kinda of wife/girlfriend or husband/boyfriend to look for. however, has anyone considered wat to scarifice for them?

let me rephrase that again. meaning, everyone goes around looking for a partner/companion saying that i want him/her to be this, to be that ,have this and that. however, has anyone considered wat i can provide/give for him/her?

in negotiations i learnt that the only win-win situation is when the the minimal conditions of both parties have a common area of intersection. for example in a 2 party nego, both parties agree to a certain price for their commdities in hand that both parties have their individual interest fulfilled.

when i look at myself or the people around, i see everyone demanding. "i want good looks in my girlfriend", "i want an atm for a boyfriend", "i want him to consistently care for me", "she must be faithful to me" and the demand list goes on and on. since the 2 parties are demanding, can there be a common interesection of interest? hehe...not that i am sounding rather pessimistic here. marriages still happen now and then, so i guess interesection does happen.

then wat is the give/scarifice i am talking about? when people mention scarifice, the impression is that i give wat i have. for example, if i had 2 dollars, i will scarifice 1 dollar for charity. is that scarifice?!? at least not in my definition and dictionary. i feel that if you give something that you already have abundance of, that is not scarifice. rather, if you give up wat u have already so little of, THAT is scarifice. wat will you scarifice? if you already a list of things wat to scarifice, please throw that thought away, unless tested through life's lessons.

this post is not written to put the author is glowing white light. rather this post is written, as part of the author's experience in life. for the author is another like others who always has a list of demands ready and never knew wat it is to give.

then again, to give is not to provide things that YOU THINK the other party will need. rather, you will have to sit down and LISTEN. listen hard and listen long, when dun understand, clarify. for example, you dun jus give a beggar money. even if you can give the 1st beggar you see, how abt the rest that you are goin to meet? wat the beggar needs may not even be your charity, rather, they may need your assistance more!

after saying all this, i hope no one will rush to your nearest beggar and listen to him/her. this is a purely to illustrate the idea of listening. however, if you really feel that noblity in your heart to help the beggars on the street, then go ahead, no one is stopping you.

GOOD MORNING...(yawn)

hehe...later goin tampines for a badminton session with Kumar(best fren) and his fren Jonathan. i heard that there will be plenty of PROs there. oh well...have to keep in mind that i will jus there to play play only. oh if anyone is wondering why the extent to go over to tampines, although i live in Jurong East? its kinda of like a pact that we made. Jon is a East-side fren while kumar and i are the west-side people. so its like we take turns to visit each other's homeground. its only fair, cos dun think it will be good to always demand Jon to come over to play with us.

yesterday had a cycling session in the afternoon with a few frens. there were peiling, weichien, joyce, leslie and serene. actually, it was a very last-min event for me and weichien. all of a sudden, serene messaged me if i wanted to join them for cycling. then i thot of calling weichien, to build bond and cohension. afterall, we are goin to be a team for the next school year, for project LiNG.

the journey begun at Jurong East around 1500++. actually it could have been earlier. i had mistaken that most of them were already in Jurong East. so i met up with them around 1400++. weichien came around 1500++, jus nice. weichien actually had archery lessons earlier that morning, and it ended quite early. got home changed and had a super quick lunch, reached JE at a record 1500++. we set off ...yea!!!

jus that morning, when i was on my father's bike, coming back from a Johor breakfast, i suddenly missed those bicycle riding days. i remember i used to ride from home to and fro my camp, which was somewhere in Tuas, specifically Pasir Laba. those were the days...ah. i used to reach earlier, took a bath and hung loose till the whole crowd came. cycling past 'angry' vehicles everyday on the road and always trying to out-accelerate the cars a traffic lights. haha...happy happy happy. always had a very carefree feeling whenever i am on bicycle. i think it might be tied to the reason that cycling might be the closest thing to flying.

i had always wanted to be a pilot since young. the flying dream, the carefree-ness, the wind gushing in your face and the unrestricted-ness. the extent of my ideals were scary, i actually had wanted to be a pilot so much that i carved it on a wooden telephone table back at my old address. memories...ahh. since i got my first pair of specs at around primary 4, my flying dream ended. cos back then, i heard from my parents that those who became pilots, dun wear specs. hehe...but now no worries. since i am in mechatronics now, i can help others become pilots and i have my new dream now, LiNG and Gundam.

there were plenty of hiccups while on the journey. we had actually stopped at lavendar MRT station to change to bus service number 196. despite attempts and directing by another fren weiyi, the bus jus seemed so mysterious and elusive. then it seems that 196 had a change of route because of the Nicoll highway still under construction. when at first we couldnt locate the bus service number 196, i tried to run around to search for it. apparently, it was my bloody mistake. when in fact, we could have taken 197 and change to some other bus. so thus, it seems that i tried to get the whole group walking towards the nearest 196 was a Definitive Mistake and Idoitic Gesture, which only decreased the time we could have spent cycling.

then the rest of that day, i had seemed to spend it annoying everyone. till a point, where i suddenly jus give up. no point talking anymore since every word i say simply annoys. furthermore, i am super sensitive to rage and fustration, so might as well not attract them at all. i guess the day ended in a bad note. hmmph.

yea...today a very busy day.

earlier this tuesday, weiyi proposed again(the previous proposition was not meant with any respone) to have a BBQ session jus before the school re-opens and the new term starts. hmmm...the new term starts at next week 23 May!! wat to do?!?!

in the end everyone was moblised to help out and the date was set on today. the pit was booked, equipment bought and brought, food was freshly purchased and marinaded on the same day and oh not to forget the people who is supposed to finish the food.

i had to rush Qiuyan(old-time secondary school fren cum o level study mate) with the making of 100 chicken satay sticks in under 1 day. XIE XIE(thank you). i informed her on the wednesday night and she did it for me at around today evening time...WOW!!! even till the hours near the collection, i was still trying furiously trying to communicate with her about the collection details. Thanks to Martin for the co-operation. haha...sorry to have wasted that ounce or 2 of your petrol.

although everything was in place and everything was set, we still missed out on some factors. when i booked the pit, the AXS machine showed me that pit B-12 of West Coast park was supposed to be facin the sea. instead, it was facing a white barrier, setup by the construction that is ongoing at the beach. no sea view...haiz. to worsen the situation, it rained. it had to rain jus as i first reached the pit.

the rest were quite enthu abt the whole rainy day BBQ idea. oh well, i guess even with the rain, it was still a roaring success. everyone had their fill, i think, and it had to be the only cooling BBQ experience i might have. with the heavenly sky juice pouring on our shirts and food, but not our spirits.

jus for information sake, the bookings at the pits all over singapore require a nominal sum of S$20/= . wow?!?!...is that to serve as a deterrent to people who booked the pits but never show up? hmmm...we were actually jus wondering, if there was even a need to book the pits? hehe...not that we cheeky, its jus plain survival skills.

although it was a class party, there were unexpected guest of honours. denise, ben, jesslyn and peiling. weichien, serene, faizar, kasturin, martin, joyce, leslie, weiyi, ryan, peiliang and zhiwei all turned up to brighten up the BBQ session. yea...wishing a good start into the new term for everyone. although we are in different class, we can still hang out, rite?

the throat feels abit dry already...time to snooze

recently, kinda blogged down by financial problems. everywhere and everyone needed money. hmmm...a life lesson to be learnt? according to Andrew Matthews of Be Happy, there are always life lessons to learn. the worst part is that you cant skip or choose which ones to learn. if you fail to recognise or even learn the lesson, the life lesson grows bigger in size and will DEFINITELY whack you in the face.

scenerio:
person A owes 1 person a dollar five years ago. although person A returned the amount five years ago, he still does not understand why in the first place he borrowed that dollar. as person A grew older, he begun to borrow more and more money, from more and more people. he failed to understand that he had very poor financial sense, thats why he had to resort to borrowing.

hmmm...not a very convincin scenerio, but you'll get the point. so now the problem is to stop the life lesson from becomin to big and whack you in the face. thus, pay attention to all details in your life!

i also remembered clearly this year's forecast for myself. it seems that this year will be roughly the same like last year. and if i remember clearly, i was quite broke around this time last year too. haha...guess i didnt learn my lesson much. maybe not, i think i was more wealthier than i was last year around this time. hmmm...anyhow, really dun like the feeling of being broke, seriously, who likes it anyway. however, its a powerful motivation.

another thing, i am currently 'blind'. yesterday i was in the squash court with leslie...yak yak yak...the rest is history. it was like my second time in the court and most probbably the last, unless they throw some highly priced treasure in there.

i also dropped by Kbox recently, another source where my money had went to, and discovered that i really had no idea which songs are suitable for my voice to sing in. that was on the first trip. the second trip, went on 1400-1900 student hour, i tried to plough through all the songs and find the ones that my voice had no problem handling. results were yielded. i can very comfortably sing songs by 五月天. songs like 温柔 and 纯真. i tried songs by 李圣杰 as well, i can quite comfortably sing the 痴心绝对. i also can quite fit for songs by 陶喆, songs like angel, 爱,很简单 jus to name a few. yea....

another thing to note. recently, there was quite a big huha about my partner(in project LiNG) talking to another person in MSN. maybe i can try to clear up the air. i guess it kinda of started with me. simply put, the big huha was created to jus tease him ONLY. so it was a childish attempt, sue me!!! i was jus kinda of jealous that he was kinda typing away during classes everyday. so i thot i tried to tease him a little abt it. however, it ended up that another 2 person knew about it. the rest is jus absurd i guess. sorry weichien if i had caused you much uneasiness and sorry to the other party he was talkin to, if happen that both of you are reading this. rest assured that such childish acts will TRY to be suppressed.

today...totally failin in what i had set out to do a few days back, which is to forget her.

still she lingers somewhere in my dreams. yes! i do mean the dreams that you have at nite while you sleep. jus last nite, while she came online, i sorta noticed sometime weird about her nick. kinda felt that she have been kinda depressed or something.

then i approached her. indeed, my fears were kinda of realised. she was quite down. naturally i felt very helpless. i tried to probe but she refused to say anything. she kept saying that she had no idea how to put say it. then i tried to guide her thots slowly to put everythin in words, that failed. hmmm...plan B then came into mind and straight into action. cheer her up. erm...towards the end, she seems to be cheered up, i hope.

till this morning, i was still quite troubled about what was actually troubling her. i still cannot put any sentence any cause to her misery and that was causing alot of misery and unrest. the only possible cause that i can sentence was my previous post. i tried to ask her this morning whether it was my post that had caused her much misery. she replied no and that she was jus feeling moody thats all. i had no other clues to work with. i was still not quite satisfied with her answer, but had to accept it. maybe i jus needed a confirmation from her eyes.

wish i can jus forget everything abt her and start anew. then fate is trying to make me hang on. i was at popular bookstore yesterday. i was at my usual section, the new age/feng shui/astrology section. then i took up a book about Western Astrology.

as a usual practice i will actually look up all the pages that concerns me before proceeding to any other pages that may concern anyone that i have in mind. somehow, i went to the taurus section first. then i went into the love section of taurus. i seems that taurus are slow to warm up to their potential lovers. when taurus eventually gets warmed up to them, their potential lovers become lovers for other people.

hmmm...seriously, this is the first time that i have across such a description about taurus. then i was wondering...a sign? the night before, i jus dreamt about her. later, in the same day, the above events happened.

that night i was watching movie on channel 8. the show was starring, ekin cheng and charlene choi. the plot was about this 2 families long standing relationship with each another, that they actually had a nuptial agreement even before their children were born. technically, both the characters played by ekin and charlene are married before birth. this is kinda of the common practice back in more fedual chinese society. the twist was that they had a 12 years age gap. it was a more comical show than a romantic one. sign number 4?

hmmm...maybe i am thinking too much because i jus dun wanna let her go?

Project Ling is going very smoothly. well, it is progress everyday although not a very god-speed. it is still progressin.

today...trying to immense myself totally into this sumo-robot design, calculations and tons of other details. trying to make sense of what i see on the Internet, ah Lim's advice and francis's(senior) experience. so how somewhere still feels kinda of laggy. REFORMAT. kinda of out of the question, but i will do what i usually do, a partial brain format.

"I hope we could be close frenz as wat we used to be... ..."

took about 1 1/2 months of staring and reading to understand the above. guess i shld really re-evaluate my comprehension abilities. wanna be frenz? SURE... wanna be wat we used to be? FINE...NO Prob. sure...not big deal. frens....FRIENDS. F-R-I-E-N-D...hmmm...no biggie.

i guess you can always be hopefully about alot of things. like cure for aids, like being associated to the words, beauty, dashing, handsome, etc.. you can also be hopefully for the grand prize of the next lucky draw, or even be hopefully about forever youthfulness. however, i guess learning of letting go is part of growing up. hmmm...hopes like being associated to handsome HAVE to let go. much less hope of never understanding the meaning of the above sentence.

maxferes : "you gave a clear question...and she returned a clear answer. so what you want?"

My 'MacDonald' theory about love and fate

at one point in life your bound to feel the urge to step into a fastfood resturant. as you step in, you only notice the lady over the other side of the counter. you look at her, then at her name tag. it reads "Fate Destiny".

Fate Destiny : "Good morning, which set meal would you like?"

you : "what set meals do you have?"

Fate Destiny : "We have all variations of set meals. which set meal would you like?"

then you take a step back to ponder over which set meal you prefer. then you notice a referrence book by the side and started to look at some of the set meals introduced. you dont seem like the picky nor choosy type and every set seems to suit. customer A walks in.

Fate Destiny : "Hi, which set meal would you like?"

customer A : "I will take the set meal 1. change drink to dark coffee."

Fate Destiny : "No problem. coming right up. that will be a lifetime of pain, happiness, sorrow, weal and woe."

customer A : "hmmm...but i only have 3 months with me."

Fate Destiny : "How about another set?"

customer A : "for jus 3 months?"

Fate Destiny : "yup! heres the set that will cost 3 months. set 49."

customer A : "sure...i will take this!"

then you look to yourself and started to search. to search for the time that you brought to get the meal. then you found a lifetime. you looked very pleased. however, you just hope to get the most quality meal that you can get. so you continue to search for that meal in the referrence book, thinking that the price of that quality meal shld be around a lifetime. although you keep searching, you are only doing comparsion and still do not have any idea of what quality meal is. another customer walks in.

Fate Destiny : "Hi, which set meal would you like?"

customer B : "i will have set 13 and i want some honey sauce to go with it."

Fate Destiny : "No problem. coming right up. that will be a lifetime of pain, happiness, sorrow, weal and woe."

customer B : "here you go."

after a while of waiting, customer B is getting quite impatient.

customer B : "where is my set meal?"

Fate Destiny : "still cooking it. it will take a while. please kindly give it another wait." jus as she finished her sentence, another customer arrives.

Fate Destiny : "Hi, which set meal would you like?"

customer C : "i want set 49."

Fate Destiny : "i am sorry. currently, we are not serving set 49 as we have run of ingredients just now. how about another set?"

customer C : "er...then i will get set...80"

Fate Destiny : "No problem. coming right up. that will be just one night."

customer C : "here you go."

as customer C leaves the counter, customer B still stands there waiting for set 13. in a short while another customer steps in.

Fate Destiny : "Hi, which set meal would you like?"

customer D : "i would like to get set 33 and some Thai chilli oils."

Fate Destiny : "No problem. coming right up. that will be a lifetime of pain, happiness, sorrow, weal and woe."

customer D : "here you go."

Fate Destiny : "finally, set 13 is done and here you go. here is also the honey sauce you requested."

after all the comotion at the counter, you found yourself more attracted to the comotion rather than to the search. then you really feel the hunger for a set. then you try all sorts of method to think through what meal actually catches your fancy and which meal you like. jus then, the previous customer came back.

Fate Destiny : "YES? can i help you in any way?"

customer D : "i want to change another meal."

Fate Destiny : "Sorry, but i cannot give you a full refund. however, i will refund of whats left of it. it will be about 10 years 3 months 15 days 4 hours 20 minutes and 8 seconds."

customer D : "then i want set 66 with some mints"

Fate Destiny : "No problem. coming right up. that will be the rest of time that you have left."

while you tilt your head over to look at the counter comotion, you notice a set meal on the display behind the counter. feeling all excited, you rush over to the lady at the counter to order your meal.

you : "Can i have the set 430?"

suddenly, you feel very ignored and alone. feeling unrelentless, you tried a few more times. however, the lady at the counter just ignores your orders. fustrated, you start to think.

you : must i meet certain rules and regulation to order a meal? am i missing a password that all the previous customers know?

or maybe like the meal, not all customers have the power of choice in selection of set meal?

** end of theory **

i suddenly feel very much to continue to express myself ...but hey look at the time 1222AM. nitez.

AHH!H!HH!!!!!!...thats it...i will swear off Jurong Point!!! at least for a few months.

today i was supposed to meet my job agent at Jurong Point. purpose? to return my factory uniform and authorisation swipe card, plus to submit a photo of myself. i was supposed to meet him at 1300. thus i left Ngee Ann(somewhere near Beauty World, which is somewhere in Bukit Timah) at around 1230+.

OF ALL the things to happen at the beginning leg of the journey, it had to rain. actually, i had planned to get a straight bus to Jurong Point, on bus 174. maybe i was impatient, but it jus seems forever for bus 174 to show up. thus i took the next alternative, bus 173. this bus can get me to clementi bus interchange and change another bus, 154. all in all, i got to my destination at around 1300+++,near 1400. and there was no one to be found. jus me and the rain.

ARHHHH!!!!...JURONG POINT. drawin up alot of bad memories. firstly, the lost of my bicycle after the midnite show, Lord of the Ring, the return of the King. secondly, Jurong Junior College. thirdly, army days.

that bicycle was a loan property of my cousin, thus a compensation was needed. actually, i was not so concerned abt the compensation. rather, i was very DISAPPOINTED at the very fact of that IT GOT STOLEN!!! i was kinda left stranded in JP if not for Benny and his parents.

another thing abt JP is Jurong Junior College. i guess it would represent the worst possible part of my life, in terms of behaviour, size, attitude, studies even looks. i was naive THEN.

before JJC i came from Shuqun secondary. back there, the culture was quite 'together'. together' meaning a very social. as a class, we operated as a unit, well almost. there wasnt nothing our class cannot complete, but you jus need the right motivation and incentive. hehe...

i thot JJC had the same culture, at least i thot my class had the same culture. then i started to adpot the trendy, slacker brand. i slack off. IF you notice the keyword of the previous sentence, its 'I'. while i was naive to slack off, the rest of the people worked. i got all 'E' for the first year exams. meaning, all near passes. then, gratefully, one of the lecturers showed me their dark side. thank you, Ms Joyce Koh.

although till now, it may seem that i am resenting my classmates, however, i jus resent the system. without an aggresive and non-compromising system, where would youths be so desperate to kill off competition? no one wants to lack behind, no one wants to take a wrong step and no one wants to be mean as well. i jus resent that naive me...

another part of JP which i hate is the army days i spent there. army days was one of the most escaping days of my life. i used that period to escape from my poor 'A' level results, to escape my uncertain future, to escape the undecided future and to not face my responsibilities as a son.

thankfully, i toughed it out at the end. i managed to squeeze a decision for myself and striked out a possible future and light to be in. nothing was easy in the beginning, jus like the healing of open wounds. the wounds will still hurt at the beginning, then itch alot when its near full recovery and leave a mark when it jus becomes another part of you.

hmmm...weird...i am now actually in the alpha centre at school. supposedly, researching for my final year sumo robot. guess i am blabbing too much. let this pain be a forever reminder, that discipline before all else.

finally...the singapore robotics game have ended. Ngee Ann got first prize and the third. muhaha...Nanyang got abt 18 entries. to demostrate the QUANTITY they brought in : it was a full page of NYP contestant names, 7/8 of TP and 5/7 of NP. muhaha...however, i still wanna state that TP did bring out a few worthy adversaries. :) nice job. looking forward to meeting them next year, when i compete. :)

the whole event taught some valuable lessons that we shld look out for. even to minute details like, an LED indicator light to signify that the robot is on. a serious competitor from TP helped us gained such an important lesson.

the robot from TP was named Hamster and our robot Zeta. it was a deciding match between who was the champion. Hamster was the champion for the previous year, thus the pressure was on for us. the first 2 bouts was a tie, with each side winning one. the third, and deciding bout, came to a very undecisive ending. both Zeta and Hamster was thrown off the dohyo, and the judge cannot give judgement on who landed outside the dohyo first. thus a fourth bout was called. before the foruth bout began, both teams were given a minute to touch up and maintain their robots. i was watchin the match from the second level, with a birds' eye view. i can clearly see the team members rushing off to their individual robots. like how those F1 technicians, when the F1 car enters pit-stops. when the fourth bout finally start, it ended for Hamster. everyone was quite taken aback when Hamster remained stationary after the time-keeper shouted start. the Hamster team had apparently forgot to switch on Hamster and had lack of indicator to show it. pity, otherwise there would have been another interesting bout to remember.

my team has been set. WeiChien have gladly decided to join hands and design the winning robot for next year. hehe...arrogorant? na...jus hopeful. i jus hope i can gather enough mistakes from past experiences and make a better robot. WeiChien have taken upon the task of the mechanical design and aspect of the robot. while i will handle the intelligence of the robot. as for the circuity of the robot, we decided to take half responsibility each. this will be called Project 零(ling). i wish to divuldge more but theres still nothing conrete yet to talk about. hmmm...till later.

another thing of interest would be that i was kinda approached by some frens to join a biz venture. this whole thing started when i decided to re-join a biz venture that i had once abandon due to certain personal reasons. reason to re-join? i thot that it was kinda of in dire straits and needed all the help possible, since i was one of the founding fathers as well. somehow, after understanding the situation there, i found it quite redundant for me to return. as it would be a matter of time before everything bounces back...and another matter of time before everything dismantles. bleak...but possible future, assuming that the ongoin evolution that the biz is takin works. so...thats one...

the second biz, that i was proposed to is rather hush hush too. however, based on my limited foresight and judgement, i have decided invest my limited abilities and time into it.

the problem that remains is whether i should return to the biz that i had once abandon to help salvage and steer the direction of it?

today...although haven end yet but the more important things have already more or less been settled.

THANKS to leslie lau for his interference. ended up i have to give the present personally to her...

yesterday night, messaged her to find out wat time can she slot in for me to pass her the present. i was thinking about maybe around lunch. then she changed it to breakfast, and will message me when she leavin her house. so as usual i when to bed. however, the thing is that i couldnt exactly get into deep slumber or my usual sleep mode. SLEEPY alan was missing, kidnapped!

the usual sleep mode : since my bed has a window view, so i peek out the window quite often. lucky for me, its the view of industrial Jurong and not someone else's room. so usually before i sleep, its all dark outside. when i wake, it would be all bright and sunny around 0700 or 0800 in the morning.

last night : sudden awakening in the nights. to check whether it was daybreak. consistent tossing and turning. from the left side of the bed i flipped to the right, and back again. the whole bed was slowly but steadily warmed up. i didnt sleep very soundly or more accurately i slept a wink. then when eventual daybreak. i kept checking the clock for time. i was checking the clock on my cell phone and double up checking whether she messaged. i was checking so consistently that i eventually got so fed up about it and decided to wake up and get some washing up done. i keep getting the feeling that i didnt not have enough sleep last night. although i theortically slept at around 0000+ and woke up at around 0700+. 7 whole hours.

after waking up, i hung around my room for a while, still waiting very patiently for that message. wait, wait and more waiting. eventually, i messaged her at around 0900+, near 1000, to ask her if our appointment was still on. then she said yea and would be here pretty soon. both of us actually met at around 1000+, near 1100, at JE Mac. so i jus had my lunch there instead, without breakfast. we talked...actually she blabbed and i listened. :)

another thing that happened yesterday. ms serene chan was like very difficult to handle. erm...meaning, somehow somewhere it seems that i have had stepped onto her tail some part. serene, joyce, leslie and me together with some of joyce's secondary school frens had dinner at newton circus. after that, joyce still wanted to roam around. thus, the 4 of us went to orchard to roam and wander till around 2200++.

the problem is serene was that she was kinda of like picking on me. i can understand that maybe she was in a foul or PMSing mood. however, she seems to have all her arrows targetted to shoot me. NOT fair. she was kinda of finding me unbearable, which jus leaves me totally clueless...guess i better stay away for a while. otherwise, might incur more of her wrath.

anyhow, wasnt very fruitful yesterday in finding the perfect battery for the Final Year Project(sumo-robot). guess have to stick to the choice 1, so far the best discharge and most lightweight for that capacity. didnt look for any magnets for the robot yet, although i had planned to start searching. mainly because i am still quite unsure with the designs of the robot.

i dun like/approve the popular wedge design. because its an 'evil' cycle. its like this year i create a low wedge to wedge you out of the dohyo. then next year you create an even lower wedge. wats the point? besides, there must be a certain flaw that everyone has overlooked or underestimated about the wedge. i MUST find it, to create the un-wedge robot and eliminate all wedge robots. personally, i also do like the idea of a 'winning formula'. i know that the wedge have a higher chance to secure a win. however, its MY wrestle, and even in defeat, i will lose in MY way. stubborn? most probbably. non-conformin? think so. winning? 50/50 do i care? (walk off)

i have been thinkin recently that the probbable reason why the Japanese have been topping the charts with their robots, maybe due to the fact of exposure. the bare fact that they have been quite exposed to the sumo sports. sumo wrestling, if i am not wrong, is in fact a national sports. thus all they have to do is to translate it to the robots.

however, due to the lackof exposure to sumo sports. we can only very superficially grasp the concepts and ideas behind this form of wrestling. thus, losing a certain edge over the japanese. so the current mission i have set for myself to to understand and grasp the concepts and ideas behind this sports. after which, i would have to leviate at least one level higher to be on par with them.